Pregnancies and Parenthood

To be pregnant might be one of the most fulfilling experiences a woman can ever feel. But there are many “obstacles” when something goes wrong. Maybe you’re not married and your parents would reject your totally, or you do not want to have a baby. Maybe you try to get pregnant, but it doesn’t happen. Maybe you are an adopted child. Maybe you are very happy to be a parent, but you feel that you’re not good enough. There could be many issues around pregnancy and / or parenthood. Please feel free to discuss anything with me.

I cannot fall pregnant! Maybe you had a miscarriage, or your “biological clock is ticking”, or everybody asks you when you fall pregnant. According to all medical tests there is nothing physically wrong with you or your husband. Your heart is broken; you are desperate, nervous and feel as if you’re a failure. It is possible that your previous child’s birth was very difficult and your subconscious ‘decided’ not to allow your body to get hurt again. Hypnotherapy will assist you in dealing with all the fears while you are relaxing deeply. Your subconscious mind will realise that to be pregnant again will make you very happy. You will take the responsibility to relax a lot during pregnancy and you will nurture yourself very well. Then nothing can go wrong. It is very good for a pregnant woman to go through hypnosis to assist her with any stressful situations during that time, and to relax through the birth process.
New Parent without confidence

 

Although you’ve survived nine months of pregnancy, experienced the excitement, intensity of labour, and the delivery itself, you are a new parent and you feel as if you don’t know what you are doing.  Where are the instructions? No baby comes out with a manual… It’s just at this point that you can have a crisis of confidence.  Suddenly feeling responsible for another life, maybe doubting that you are ‘good enough’ to be a new parent and adjusting to a new kind of life stretches the best of us. Maybe there are other women in your life that tell you what to do. They want to help you, but it makes you feel incompetent.

Hypnotherapy will assist you to realise and believe the truth about parenthood, and that is the following: New parents do not just ‘know’ what to do. We all have to learn and become better at any new role we are given in life. Here are some reassuring facts:

  • No parent is ‘perfect’.
  • It’s natural to become tired, irritable, even bored looking after your baby sometimes-this doesn’t mean you are a ‘bad parent.’
  • You won’t be a ‘new parent’ for long-pretty soon you’ll have a child not a baby.
  • Everything changes – it’s not for ever.
  • There are pleasures and joys to parenting that you are yet to discover.
  • This new parent hypnosis session will get you feeling relaxed and calm about being a new parent.

 

Being a New Step Parent Although he child isn’t yours, you want to get on with him / her.  You feel little patience for your step child or feel you have really made an effort and got little back in return or feel you cannot chastise or even praise the child because they are ‘not yours.’  Some step children can be resentful: ‘Why should they listen to you?  You’re not their parent!’  Many step parents say they fear becoming the ‘wicked step mother/father’ and because of that they find it hard to set limits and boundaries on step children’s behaviour. The fact is you live with them, you can be respected as an adult and a contributor – regardless of whether you are related by blood or not.  Jealousy can play a big part in this relationship – from both sides.  Despite yourself; you may sometimes feel resentful of the attention your step child receives from you partner or the amount of attention they seem to demand.  You may feel jealous of what the step child represents which is of course a previous relationship of your partners.  And your step child, in turn, may feel resentful, even bitter towards you for taking up, what may have been previously exclusive, attention from your partner. Hypnotherapy will present new ways of feeling about your step child which will help you (and subsequently them) become more relaxed about the relationship as a whole.  Becoming a step parent is an opportunity for self-development and for investing in a relationship which can last for life.

 

Overprotective Parents As a parent, you think ahead and try to foresee what problems and challenges might arise.  You try to protect your children from hurt.  You warn them of dangers and sometimes forcibly remove them from harm’s way.  But can a parent be over-protective and can it do more harm than good? When you step back and calm down, you begin to see the bigger picture.  That powerful protective instinct is only part of your role as a parent.  But it need not be the only consideration in every decision you make about parenting.  Good parenting is really about balance.  Sometimes it is appropriate to be protective.   Sometimes it’s appropriate to hold back and let your children learn their own lessons.  Which means making mistakes, taking risks, getting it wrong, getting hurt sometimes.  It’s this balance which produces strong, mature individuals, able to make their own way. Even when you acknowledge this intellectually and try to be more balanced in your parenting, you’ve probably noticed how hard it feels to resist that instinctive urge to step right in there and protect.  It’s almost as if you can’t help yourself.  So it’s good to know that instinctive templates, even such deeply embedded ones as protective parenting, can be updated. Hypnotherapy makes full use of the latest insights into brain functions and behaviour patterns.  It can actively update instinctive patterns.  You will find these changes happening almost effortlessly, so you can be sure that the changes you make will be beneficial to you and your children equally.

 

Parental Guilt “Because no baby “comes out with a manual”, each individual parent finds themselves, ‘making it up as they go’.  Some kind of ‘perfect parent’ still hangs around in the background, telling you you’re no good.  We’d all do almost anything not to feel guilty.  One of the commonest is the Totally Loving Parent, giving them everything they want and never refusing them anything.  Another common is the Compensation Parent; this one is a regular hunter of step-families, also parents who are raising their children in difficult circumstances.  This is the one who wants to ‘make up for’ what may be very real deficiencies that the children are facing. The trouble with these propitiating, guilt-driven approaches is that they backfire.  The very first step is to realise that it’s not about matching up to an ideal of parenting (your own or imposed by society).  In fact, it’s not about you at all. It’s about the children, and what they need from you in order to grow and flourish.  As soon as you look at it like this, from the basis of the children’s needs, everything becomes clearer. Hypnotherapy will help you not to fall into such a pattern of guilt-driven parenting that it’s become a habit. That is what you need to break.  You can by calling on your unconscious resources through the use of hypnosis.  Hypnosis is the most effective way we know to bring about speedy and long-lasting change in attitudes and habits.  It can help you cast off the shackles of guilt and become a guilt free parent.  Start a new adventure with your children.

 

Being Adopted Maybe the fact that you were adopted isn’t something you think about much. Maybe knowing your real mother ‘gave you away’ sometimes makes you feel sad or angry. It is possible that you’ve always known you were adopted and feel you have basically accepted it.  Perhaps you only found out much later and still sometimes feel upset about it.  How do you explain what it’s like not to have ‘roots’?  Or why you feel such a mix of sadness and anger and confusion?  Complicated feelings like this can powerfully influence how you feel about yourself. Many adopted say they have always ‘felt different’.  Of course, you may have had wonderful loving and caring adoptive parents, but may still feel haunted by that sense of being different from the other kids, from people who had ‘ordinary’ family experiences.  You may have been looking for some kind of ‘closure’ to ease your mind. Hypnotherapy is for you if you feel that you haven’t quite come to terms with the idea that you were adopted. Hypnotherapy is a powerful tool to ease difficult emotions and reframe attitudes and ideas.  You’ll find that this therapy will allow you to really relax around the facts of your own adoptive history, while offering you fresh and positive perspectives on your life.  You will get some closure on those issues.

 

Empty Nest Syndrome You might find yourself struggling with unexpected feelings of grief when your child has just gone off to college or left home for their own place, You may tell yourself: “Nobody died!”  Your days can feel empty and without direction.  You wonder what the point of your life is; now they have gone…  As you care for them as infants, delighting in their every step, you don’t think of them walking away from you.  Seeing them through school, you don’t think of them learning to do without you.  You have wonderful dreams of what they will be and do in future – but somehow you manage to skip over the bit where they leave home. These reactions are perfectly normal.  When a major change occurs in your life there are always losses as well as gains.  It’s wonderful to know that your child is now ready to make their own way in the world.  But it means that you lose that special intimacy that belongs to the time of dependence.  It’s great that they can now make their own plans and arrangements and shift for themselves.  But it means that you need to find something new for you to direct your energies towards, as ‘parenting’ is no longer required. Allow yourself to feel the sadness, even while you rejoice for your child’s progress in life.  Set aside time to focus on the memories, rather than letting grief swamp your day.  Begin to think about what you would like to do now that you are no longer responsible for them.  Take time out to help yourself through hypnotherapy that offers you an opportunity to ease your journey through the process of letting go.  Let yourself be carried away on a hypnotic journey to relieve the burden and refresh you. Spark a fresh spring of creativity inside you and surprise you with the possibilities that await you.  Discover that life is just beginning.

 

 

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